I have quite a few things to write about as of late. Frustrations, family emergency, drama trying to seep it's way back into the mix. But. I don't feel like talking about that right at this moment. Perhaps in a few weeks.
I put on make-up today. Hey what? Yea I did. This is a big event as I very rarely do this. I always feel awkward in make-up unless it's for a photo. And in that case the more the better. I think somewhere deep deep deep down in the pits of my mind there's a girly version of me trying to claw her way out. She isn't a very good climber.
I think my hanging out and having almost all (with the exception of like 2) of my friends male since childhood has taken it's toll on my mind. And is probably why I've never been able to maintain a conversation with my own gender without wanting to gouge out my eyes. So fucking boring. Jesus fuck. I think I also have some kind of attention disorder or am just constantly plotting against myself. My mind will always think up something to get me completely off track.
Having lunch with friends. Wouldn't it be hilarious if some guy in indian attire came in and beat the shit out of his face with a brick? Wait... what the fuck are you talking about?
First time I ever had anal. OMFG there's a dick in your butt! Well... that just ruined the mood now didn't it?
This one time a guy told me he loved me. Ah god his dick must be tucked in him... Honestly what? And truthfully I thought it was incredibly sweet. (That one also came with a pretty hilarious mental picture)
These were never meant with malice it just seems like these kinds of things just pop up out of nowhere. And then I feel bad.
How I will ever mesh into the real world is anyone's guess.
Currently - In The City by The Jam
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